Post the Truth, and You Never Have to Remember Which Filter You Used
For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Marney Andes of marneyandes.com, I’m the bestselling author of Start with the Give-Me Shots, and this is my blog. I want you to know that the topics I write about here are things I’m living and breathing. I share unfiltered stories and reflections from my own life and turn them into exercises you can use.
But first—before you start reading—it’s important to know that the topic on my heart today is about life in general, and it’s geared towards anyone.
Here’s what’s on my mind today: Why do we listen when society tells us to use filters?
Is anyone else struggling to accept the perfect-image culture on social media right now? This is a topic that has been heavy on my heart for a while now, and I want to share my perspective.
A few weeks ago, I was having dinner with my two boys. We were sitting at the table and my older son said, “Mom, you've got to stop taking photos where the camera’s above you. It looks like a dating profile picture.”
I quickly responded, “Okay, okay, fine. I'll stop doing that. But I only take photos like that because if I take them from a lower angle, I might have a double chin.”
And that was when my older son said to me, “But why would it matter if you did?”
Mic drop. The response I needed to hear. My high school son was the voice of reason, reminding me that it wouldn’t matter either way.
Personally, to this day, I’ve never used a photo filter, but here I was still trying to do something that would essentially “manipulate” the image.
Lesson 7 of my book, Start with the Give-Me Shots, is Tell the Truth, and You Never Have to Remember What You Said.
While that lesson is focused on words and actions, putting a filter on your photos is the visual equivalent of not telling the truth. It takes different forms such as covering something up or altering the output, but it all adds up to the same thing, something you don’t feel like you can be fully truthful about. Maybe you fear that without the filter, people won’t accept you.
There are two important aspects of Lesson 7:
Be open and honest with people so you can share your authentic self and invite the truth into all of your relationships.
When you cover things up or alter the truth, you inevitably waste energy maintaining a lie, which is just as damaging to you as it is to others.
When people cover something up or feel they can’t show their real self online, they are:
Sending a message to everyone that it’s okay to hide the truth.
Sending a message to themselves that they can't be who they are.
If my children already have the intuition and wisdom to say, “Let’s just be real,” then I want to live by that and continue to set an example.
I’m very open about the insecurities I’ve had to address as I have aged. My skin doesn't look the way it used to, my hair color doesn't look the way it used to, and it has been a journey figuring out how to accept these changes about myself.
So when I see altered images on social media, especially of people I know and see in person, I can’t help but wonder: what’s the reason for altering the photos? And how would they feel if they posted the real, unfiltered photos of themselves?
Because let’s face it - if everyone stopped filtering their photos, no one would need to filter their photos, and we would have an environment filled with authentic, true images of ourselves.
If filtering photos has become a practice of yours, here’s an exercise to try:
The next time you go to post a photo on social media, reflect on the following questions:
Why do I feel the need to alter, filter, or hide myself?
What do I need to accept about myself?
This topic has a number of tentacles and something I will continue to write about and share. In fact, I’m inviting you now to participate in #NoFilterFebruary. More details to come.