My First Book Unveiled: Start with the Give-Me Shots
By Marney Andes
One of the exciting parts about being Mrs. America was getting to speak at a number of different events, one of the first being a women’s luncheon.
This was one of my first speaking appearances, and I knew it had to be stellar, but when I asked for a guideline on what to talk about, I was met with, “just talk about something inspiring.”
I stretched far back in my head, trying to pull from concepts that mattered to me. I wanted something that was attributed to real-life tangibles-- philanthropy, community, outreach. I had experience in all of them and figured I could speak for hours about any, but when I tried writing, nothing came out. None of those concepts on their own resonated enough with me where I could spend an hour (or more) talking about it.
Frustrated, I dropped my pen and pad, and reflected on the moment I was in. I was a mid-career, professional woman, a wife with a toddler and had assumed the newfound title of Mrs. America. What inspiration did I have to share with other women? From where did I draw my personal inspiration? What was guiding me through this current phase of my life?
My mind wandering, I started thinking about my childhood, growing up on a farm, outside of the small rural community of Wallace, Nebraska. I reminisced about the slow evenings where I didn’t have to worry about planning a speech, and instead saved my energy for basketball practice after school, followed by an evening supper with my family, and each of us sharing the day’s events, while we sat at our kitchen table, and passed around a homegrown meal.
I started seeing my dad, the pride he had as he marched around our farm, taking care of the cattle and preparing for the work of the specific crop season. I started seeing my mom, a sixth-grade teacher at Wallace Public Schools, and recalled the similarities of her experience with that of mine at Raytown Middle School, where I was a teacher, and I realized that my beliefs and values can’t just be broken down from a PowerPoint with a couple of notecards.
A couple of days later, I headed over to the women’s luncheon, prepared with the one tool that ever since then, had brought growth, success, and mindset shifts to members of my team for years to come:
Stories.
I left that luncheon knowing one thing: I was a storyteller. And as time went on, the more I told them, the more I was asked to share them.
How This Book Came To Be
My dad had the gift of gab, and sure enough, it’s one of the big things that he passed onto me.
I love stories. Listening to them, telling them, and most recently, inviting others to find their own stories in themselves with correlating values to share.
This book didn’t happen out of reaction, but rather as an action from a series of continuous events that built up in my life, leading me to the perfect time in which to write and release it.
See, I knew I’d always wanted to write a book, but wasn’t quite sure what on. I had a ton of ideas, but couldn’t find the tie that bound all of them together that would be cohesive enough to print and sell.
Four things came to play during the process of uncovering the book, writing the book, and organizing it to be the book that it is today:
I wanted to honor my dad. Ever since losing my father in 2012, I had felt his presence more and more, especially around the time in which I’d started committing to writing Start With the Give-Me Shots. When I decided I was committed to writing this book, and especially being my first book. Knowing how much his lessons made an impact on me, I knew that his legacy was one of the most necessary aspects of the book and that I was capable of carrying on his lessons to a larger population.
I wanted to share all sides of lessons; not just the successes. One of the big things I saw when reading other books, primarily self-development, is seeing concepts drilled too forwardly and too often; beating a dead horse, conceptually. I’d often think to myself, “okay, writer, I get the concept, but what are you doing to practice it?” I often wanted to hear not only about their successes and what they did right, but about their screw-ups and mistakes. My mission was to share both the ups and the downs to where I am today.
The internal competition was thrilling. Throughout both my childhood and my adult life, I’ve always been a competitive spirit: sports, speech and drama, art, pageants, you name it. I thrive under pressure, and love competition, so my push to commit to writing the book had a lot to do with competing with myself, and asking myself daily: can I do it?
I needed to be able to share my stories wholeheartedly. Don’t get me wrong, I had these values ingrained in me from my father since he shared them with me. I knew, though, that I needed to walk-the-walk through my own lessons so I could fully embody them, both in my own life, and when sharing them on a broader scale. I believe that the experience that comes from practicing lessons yourself, translates to open and honest ways of sharing and teaching those lessons to others.
About the Book… And A Sneak Peek
Start with the Give-Me Shots is an outline of lessons my father taught me, carefully crafted into eight individual lessons, that are told through simple, honest storytelling of real-life examples of my time back home in Wallace, Nebraska.
To write it, I dug up the core lessons from my dad that felt the most holistic-- and asked myself how I’d used them both in my personal life and my professional life to better myself and the people around me.
I wanted personal stories to show that my mistakes helped me get to where I am today. I also wanted an interactive element, because for me, putting these lessons into practice immediately can start to get the ball rolling if somebody needs to get out of a rut.
So, at the end of each lesson, I provide guiding questions that tailor to each reader’s unique goals, so whether you’re looking to advance further in your career, purchase a home, or find a partner, you’re getting lessons that help you live with intention.
Through the values I was taught from my father, these “homegrown” lessons help you become more attune to lessons found in life-experiences, teach you how to find clarity through deep questions, and guide you towards strategic actions to help you move forward in business and life.
Here’s a sneak-peak: my last lesson, Chapter 8, is entitled: "What Have You Done for the Good of the Community Today?", and it’s the only lesson that’s a question. It was also the first lesson that I wrote, coming as a stream of consciousness into a Facebook article that got more engagement than I’d expected.
If you knew my dad (certainly in the last 10 years of his life), you probably heard him asking this question. I’ve heard of people in our small community that said he’d ask them this question too. For my dad, it was a conversation starter, but for me, it’s a lesson about reflection.
So now, I'm turning it over to you.
Take a moment right now, and answer this question:
What have you done for the good of the community today?
This question could trigger all sorts of things. Maybe, “Wow, I actually did more than I thought I did today,” or perhaps, “Huh, I’ve been doing the same thing every day for six months. Something needs to change.”
The great answer to this is not needing to make a monumental change. You don't have to start heavily meditating for an hour every day, nor do you need to start journaling ten pages before falling asleep.
It doesn’t have to be hard to start making a difference, but reflecting on what you’ve been doing is a significant part of creating positive change in your life.
That one simple question that I now ask myself every day, helps me check myself for and avoid a “rinse and repeat” trap. It kicks me into a sense of gratitude. It gets me out of a funk and brings me closer to my mission.
That one simple question was just one of the legacies that my father left behind. The other seven, you’ll find in Start with the Give-Me Shots.
The Details
Start with the Give-Me Shots: 8 Homegrown Lessons for Business and Life will be released on March 23. You can purchase the book here on my website.