How honest do you want to be?
Living an authentic life means being true to yourself and staying honest with what you share with others. Seems straightforward when I write it here but when stepping away from the keyboard and confines of my office, it feels a bit more tricky than that. And why? Because throughout much of my life, I subconsciously thought that approval was the only way to get ahead, generally the only way to be accepted. When one thinks that way, one second-guesses themselves a lot. You wonder if saying something in a certain way will offend someone. What if you say the explicit word that immediately came to mind? Oh, forget keeping that person interested. They will be shocked if you say that aloud. You think about everyone else before you think about what you want, what feels right or natural, or what you care to share. Being aware of others is generally a good thing but when it drives much of what you say or do, it becomes wickedly confining and nearly impossible to be yourself.
With all of this consuming my mind for years, you'd think I had many examples of people having these negative reactions to what I said or outright rejecting me for what I did. But I don't. I made those reactions up in my own mind. A narrative carefully calculated without one drop of evidence. And if anyone has felt this way or had this reaction to what I said or did, they never shared it with me, likely because they chose to simply go on their own way.
As enlightened as I am now about this long-practiced, and self-imposed challenge, it's a journey to complete authenticity that I continue to walk. Over the recent years, I talked with a number of people, including therapists, coaches, and friends, journaled, meditated, and read a number of books. One of my favorites shown here, Ikigai: The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life, I highly recommend. You can easily click the image to order a copy for yourself. I see the benefits of living my most authentic and honest ways and they are well worth the effort. By embracing honesty and authenticity, we can all experience greater inner peace and happiness, stronger relationships, and a deeper sense of purpose. I've experienced most of these already and look forward to the continued development with others. I believe they are worth noting for you as well.
Get to know yourself: Take time to reflect on your values, beliefs, and desires. Knowing who you are and what you stand for is the foundation of living an authentic life.
Be honest with others: Don't hide your true thoughts and feelings from others. Speak the truth, even when it's uncomfortable. Being honest can help build trust and strengthen relationships.
Accept yourself: Be kind and forgiving towards yourself. Embrace your imperfections and focus on your strengths. Living an authentic life means accepting and loving who you are.
Live in the moment: Focus on the present moment and let go of regrets about the past and worries about the future. When you live in the present moment, you'll find it easier to be authentic and honest.
Surround yourself with positive people: Surrounding yourself with positive, supportive people can help you stay true to yourself and live an authentic life.
Stay true to your values: Stick to what you believe in, even when it's difficult. Living an authentic life means being true to your values and beliefs, no matter what.
Living an authentic life requires courage, commitment, and effort. But the rewards are numerous and well worth the journey. By embracing honesty, authenticity, and living in the moment, you will find greater inner peace, happiness, and fulfillment. So many of the things that we long for. Isn't encouraging to know that everything outlined here is simple and straightforward? We only have our inner critic and voice to battle and I'm here fighting with you.
My final note: I’ve decided the best way for me to approach the path the complete authenticity is the adopt the slogan that my childhood home state of Nebraska started using in it’s marketing a few years ago but I’ll take the liberty to modify it to be my own.
Marney Andes, authentic, honest, and real. Sharing uncomfortable truths and genuine life lessons in the only way she knows how…her way. Frankly, she’s not for everyone.
[Credit: Nebraska Tourism Commission, “Nebraska. Honestly, it's not for everyone.”